Lose Yourself
Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

Yo, His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
What he wrote down, the whole crowd grows so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's chokin, how everybody's jokin now
The clock's run out, time's up over, bloah!
Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked
He's so mad, but he won't give up that easy
No, he won't have it , he knows his whole back city's ropes
It don't matter, he's dope
He knows that, but he's broke
He's so stacked that he knows
When he goes back to his mobile home, that's when it's
Back to the lab again yo
This whole rap shit
He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him

 

[Chorus:]
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You want it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo, ...

I have kept this song in my player for quite some time. I remember one contestant in some English Speaking Competition quoted his lyrics. Yeah Eminem always has long lyrics, with forbidden words mixed in it, yet flowing with harsh reality, just like the broken old-fashioned Mom's-gift car in 8 Miles. In this song, the low but heavy voice with detest, anger and impatience burst out what may have trapped in the singer's chest for so long. As a matter of fact, this song really doesn't have much lyrics with tones, rapping most of the time, but the moment his nonstop complaints hitting my ear drum I felt gloomy yet lifelike.

Songs usually possess people's will. Happiness, hope, sweetness of love, who will volunteer to listen to something dragging down your good mood? Yet life is like this. It won't go with what you expect, Eminem may play a reminder to give you the slap in the face, that life is paying bills, cursing Politics, rushing for bus and crying at loved one's grave, not always "a happy everafter".

Watching the neon light through bus window, I started counting how many red lights I would encounter. Stop after one stop, his voice beating with the rhythm. Until I heard the violin in Schindler's List, I turned my head and saw only 5 passengers left, desparate for home.

Halo?

The feeling is totally changed.

Now, it is October something, roughly still 10 months to go, but it's everywhere. I am getting sick of it. I remember the night I first saw the five mascots, liked them so much, a good combination of culture and art. I protested when my dad showed disappointment to them. Yet I didn't expect them to flood in the street. There is a threshold of the amount of time you spend with things you favor. When you start to feel tired every time thinking about it, it's about time to let them vanish from the list of My Favorite.

Posters, slogans, big advertisement boards, TV programs, Newspaper reports and snap shots, even flags on some construction sites, when I saw the two Chinese characters or the five dead smiling figures I would turn my head. It used to be a glorious event that every single person in the country might render exciting and grand.

I didn't see the point of massive propoganda. Make no sense. The government are expecting what? Citizens getting used to it and make it part of the life?

Sometimes I admire the power of media, a tool of politics at the same time. While I am still bewildered at the real worth of praising so highly about chance to host it, I fell into another maze, why sickening me? 

The brightness of the halo may blind the eyes. I will take precaution because it may turn to, perhaps, a hanging loop.

饮鸩止渴？

    《北京周刊》最近登了一个关于“给主动让座的人以物质奖励之举是否可行”的讨论。大家众说纷云，有支持也有反对。文章一开始说，这个想法出自子路救人，接受赠物（一头牛）那个儒味十足的故事，孔子提倡接受馈赠来促进道德发扬，他认为做了好事的人应当得到物质的奖励，否则大众不会认为这是所提倡的行为。可总觉得这个故事用在当今社会的公交车上似乎有点不太对劲。毕竟落水的人难得遇到一个，而公交车上能让座的机会有很多。这有个机会因素的问题。

     先不说这个奖励可不可行，就说有奖励，两者的意味也不相同：子路在救人前也并不知道人家会送牛；而出台了新规定，乘客都知道让了座会得到奖励，那么再让座的话，必定会存在两种可能值得人揣摩：一是出于纯粹的道德，二是出于那不多的奖励。

     那么何以区分？道德在这里是不是就变了味道？我们又不禁发问，道德怎么定义？

     道德只是一种不成文的社会规范。规范么，并没有强调它是无偿自愿的还是有利益驱使的，就是一种作为。这里也就应了“支持”一方的说法，我们重视的是结果，不是过程。座位不管因为什么动机，让了，那么就是达到了满足更需要的人的目的。如果现在的社会以利益为重，为了挽救如今堕落的道德水平，又同时适应于市场经济的大背景，这种“奖励让座人”的做法似乎又无可厚非。

     区分动机太难了，他们都可以算是有道德的人。然而，道德应该是有别的，道德水平高和低就在于施善者的动机，虽然作为的结果都一样，但区别就在于奖励是不是那个让座的关键。还是个孔子徒弟的故事，子贡用自己的钱赎奴仆，却不领回国家给的赎金，这是高水平的道德，“道德高标”。我承认这样的人存在，但并不意味着每个人都象子贡一样才算有道德，毕竟还有一类人，有奖励也不“动摇”。

     我们现在说宣传道德的回归，其实是动机的回归，是社会风气的回归。说是个人，跟社会整体有很大关系。商品房的价码居高不下，有择校费就能上好高中，“有钱就有好的生活”，这种宣传的言外之意不就是钱的重要性高于一切么，连带的还有很多其他方面道德标准的细微改变，必然导致了一些人觉得没有奖励的让座没意义，换句话说就是没动机的局面。要大规模挽回很难，是个长时间的过程，是当人们卸去了金钱的桎梏的时候才可能发生的事。

     所以，我不同意有人说这个做法是“饮鸩止渴”。虽然就这个做法不一定普遍推广，但宣传文明行为的目的算是达到了。为了不让好人蒙受冤屈，我们只要时刻铭记那些“纯粹的金子”就好了。如果真的发生了恶性结果，“没有了奖励就没有了善举”，那这个社会的道德标准就需要修改了。先不说是不是社会倒退了，起码新的标准下，又会有新的行为被称为道德的行为，比如售票员强制把黄色椅子上的人赶走。这只是一个比喻，我想说的是，只要社会上还有自愿、不图回报行善的人，那么他们就是最大的道德。

    我相信，我们的社会会觉醒，这些努力都只是引子。本来也没听说过谁能靠道德吃饭的。